


Nerf War

by Kaenith



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Illustrated, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:04:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10070636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaenith/pseuds/Kaenith
Summary: All Vio wants to do is get his homework done on time for Monday morning.  Unfortunately, his friends just started a weekend-long (and very noisy) Nerf war...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross-posting of an old fic from my Tumblr: http://kaenith.tumblr.com/post/113103037923/

_Klak kchnk_

_Vweee!_

_Klak kchnk_

_Vweee!_

Vio looked up from his laptop as the sounds of Nerf warfare filtered through the dorm wall.

He groaned.  “Blue and Green are at it again.”

Red only shrugged.  He was curled up on his own bed on the other side of the room, surrounded by stuffed animals, with a DS in his hands.  Vio could hear, faintly, under the plastic noises from the other direction, the sound of the Pokemon battle theme.

“It’s Friday afternoon,” said Red.  “They’ll get it out of their systems and then you can have the whole weekend to do homework.”

“They’d better.  I have a fifteen page paper due on Monday.”

-

Saturday morning began with a yell of fury and the slam of a door, once again from the next dorm over.

“GREEN!”  The voice was unmistakably Blue’s.

Vio rolled onto his side and pulled a pillow over his ear as the yelling continued.  He glared at the glowing green 5:56 on his alarm clock.  Damn Blue and his early-riser tendencies.

It wasn’t long before the sounds of battle started up again, this time the _rrrrr-chk-rrrrr-chk-rrrrr-chk_ of something with automatic firing.

Red— who had awoken with a start at the first shout—slipped out of bed and padded to the door, still in his bare feet and pink pajamas.  Vio couldn’t see the door from where he lay, but he heard Red open it, heard the tentative “guys?” followed by a yelp, the _vweee_ of a whistler dart, and the hasty shutting of the door.

-

The situation only went downhill from there.  Volleys of darts echoed through the dorm, interspersed with _bang_ s that sounded suspiciously firecracker-like.

Shadow showed up around noon – apparently he and Red had a group project together.  _Apparently_ it involved papier-mâché and _way too many_ googly eyes.  Vio didn’t ask.  Both of them kept running in and out, dodging foam darts each time, to fetch various supplies and junk foods.  (“Mountain Dew is the most important element of any assignment,” Shadow had said, nodding solemnly like this was a profound truth.)

Fragments of argument could be heard through the walls – Green had put Kool-Aid Blue’s shampoo, Blue had retaliated with water balloons, Green had, Blue had, and on and on.  Shadow snickered at each escalation.  Vio rolled his eyes—oof, bad idea, it only made his burgeoning headache worse—and considered his options.  The library’s short weekend hours made it hardly worth the trip.  With it being a Saturday, and the weather finally starting to warm up, Starbucks and the park were likely to be just as noisy as the dorm.  Zelda was visiting home for the weekend, so he couldn’t beg a quiet place to study from her.  He’d just have to tough it out.

-

Nightfall came and Green and Blue were still feuding.  It was nearly midnight when the RA finally pounded on the door to tell them to knock it off _or else_.  After that, they finally quieted down – mostly, anyway, aside from the occasional stray shot.

Vio settled in to work on his paper in earnest.  Maybe now that he was less distracted— He yawned, cutting off his own thoughts, and remembered ruefully what an early start it had been that morning.  He weighed his options, sighed, and shut the laptop.  He had one more day to finish this assignment – he could afford to sleep.  As long as Blue and Green would let him get some work done tomorrow, anyway.  He went to go brush his teeth.

-

The next morning, Vio woke when his radio alarm went off at 7:30.  Aside from the weatherman informing him in an overly-cheerful voice that the warm weather would be continuing for the duration of the weekend, all was quiet.  Cautiously optimistic, he shut off the alarm and rolled out of bed.

Without even bothering to change into day clothes, he pulled out his laptop and notebooks, spread them over his bed, and got to work.

A half-hour and almost a thousand words later, Red woke up and started humming quietly to himself as he tidied up the papier-mâché mess from the night before.  Vio found he didn’t mind the humming – the pleasant sound was a nice change of pace from the plastic racket of the day before.  He was trying to puzzle out the most concise way of wording the difference between two of the articles from his class’s assigned reading, when an angry shout came from next door.

Vio slumped until his forehead hit his keyboard.  “What _now?_ ”

Red just shrugged, looking a little nervous.  Remembering that Red had been shot at yesterday when he went to go look, Vio rolled out of bed himself.  He opened the door and started to step into the hallway, a harsh inquiry on his lips, but the words never formed.  Cold water splashed over his feet, and he leapt back with a startled cry.

The hallway was covered with plastic cups, each one full of water and arranged in precise rows.  To Vio’s right, Green stood in front of his own door, the ankles of his camo-print pajama pants dripping wet and vengeance in his eyes.  “ _Blue_ ,” growled Green, lifting his Nerf gun – a _Strongarm_ – and cocking it.  Vio raised an eyebrow – had Green been sleeping with the thing under his pillow, or what?

“Okay, no, hang on—“ Vio tried to say, but Green was already off.  He tried to dance his way through the water minefield with limited success, creating several more puddles before he made it out the door, but managing to avoid Vio’s attempts to grab and stop him.

Frustrated, Vio ducked back into the dorm.  “Red, get dressed and meet me outside in twenty.  We’re doing something about this.”  He sent Shadow a text to much the same effect, then went to get ready himself.

-

Vio, Red, and Shadow found Green and Blue on the lawn outside the residency building, hurling insults and darts at each other.  Blue’s hair was bright lime green, and Green was dripping wet from the knees down, as well as all along his right side.

Vio stepped between them and spoke in a loud voice that wasn’t – quite – shouting.

“I propose a challenge.”

The darts stopped.  Green and Blue glanced at Vio, but seemed reluctant to take their eyes off each other for long.  Green was the first to put his gun away – cautiously – and approach.  Not to appear the coward, Blue followed suit.

“What are you suggesting?” asked Green.

“Rules.  Order.”  Vio’s voice dripped disdain.  “A defined ending to this game, so we can all get some actual work done this weekend.  One shot to the torso, or two shots to the extremities, and you’re out.  The loser cleans up the mess you both made of the dorms, and buys pizza.”

Blue went to shake Vio’s hand “There’s no way I’m losing to—“

Vio snatched his hand back before Blue could get to it.  “One more condition.  You two aren’t fighting against each other.  You’re a team, up against myself, Red, and Shadow.”

Blue hesitated, glancing between the three of them, sizing them up.  Green grabbed Vio’s hand while he was deliberating.  “Oh, you’re _on_.”

Vio nodded, shaking hands with Blue as well.  “Fifteen minutes to prepare, then.  Foam darts only, indoors is off limits after the preparatory time limit.”

-

“I don’t know about this,” Red twisted his hands together nervously as he followed Vio and Shadow back up to the dorm.  “How are we going to beat them?”

Vio didn’t answer at first, ducking under his bed and rummaging around for a minute before pulling out… “With this,” he said, with a distinct note of pride in his voice.  It was a sleek Nerf gun – a _Longshot_ , striped with purple duct tape.  “It’s modified for better range,” he said “I replaced the spring, patched up a few weaknesses.”  He attached a clip and set the gun down, ducking under the bed again and coming up with a much smaller gun, with a revolver’s barrel – a _Maverick_.  He flipped it around handle-first to hand it to Red.  “I assume you brought your own, Shadow?”

 “I _wish_.  Campus security confiscated mine a while back because I was shooting it at the seagulls.  And the touring high school kids.  They say I can have it back when I go a month without skateboarding on school grounds.”

“So, a month after you graduate, then.  Hang on,” Vio ducked back under the bed and pulled out another _Maverick_.  “The firing mechanism on this one jams a lot.  Sorry.  It’s all I’ve got left.”

Shadow shrugged and took the gun.  “Eh.  Better than nothing, I suppose.” 

Vio nodded.  “We’d better get going.  Our fifteen minutes are almost over.”

-

Surveying the battlefield from above, Vio was in his element.  He had said indoors was off-limits – he’d never said anything about the fire escape.

Bellow, the other players in the game were taking their positions: Green, kneeling in a patch of bushes where he’d be quite hidden if it weren’t for Vio’s high vantage point; Blue, _Vulcan_ on his hip, standing out in the open with a look that just _dared_ anyone to approach him; Red, clutching the _Maverik_ in both hands as he crouched behind a dumpster.  Shadow had disappeared up a tree; Vio couldn’t spot him.

The bell chimed nine, the signal to begin.  Green started creeping forward in the direction of Red’s dumpster.  There was a brief flurry of fire in which they both missed completely, then Red took off running for the corner of the building.  Blue came after him, casting a wary eye about for the others.  With actual consequences to being hit, everyone was being more cautious.

Blue’s trajectory was about to take him right under Vio’s perch.  Careful, careful, he’d only have the element of surprise once.

He fired.

Blue spun when he heard the sound, and the dart caught him in the upper arm, instead of his back, as Vio had intended.  Vio hissed in frustration as Blue spotted him.  Blue fired off several darts, but they all got caught in the fire escape ladder and never made it to Vio.  Vio lifted his gun again, taking aim.  Blue cursed, and ducked around the corner of the building after Red.

Meanwhile, Shadow was keeping Green occupied.  The two of them kicked up dirt and grass clods as they danced in and out of the decorative bushes-and-trees landscaping that edged the lawn.  Vio chuckled wryly as he climbed down from his compromised hiding place – that would be another black mark against Shadow with campus security if they found out, for sure.

One of Green’s darts hit Shadow in the leg.  Shadow tried to retaliate, but the gun gave a muffled _whump_ instead of firing.  There was a dart caught in the muzzle.  Green laughed triumphantly, raising his gun to fire again.  Vio shot at him, missing by inches as Green leapt aside, and taking a hit of his own on the forearm.  But his goal had only been to buy time and provide a distraction.  Shadow had un-jammed his gun, cocked it again, and fired, while Green was still preoccupied with Vio.  Shadow’s dart caught Green right under the ribs, much to Green’s frustration.  One down.

With a glance and a nod, Vio and Shadow took off in opposite directions.  Shadow went after Red and Blue, Vio headed the opposite way around the building, so Blue would be caught between them.

Vio hadn’t made it a third of the way around before Shadow rounded the corner ahead of him at a run, panting for breath and grinning from ear to ear.  “Red got him!”  He cheered.  “Got him right between the eyes!  I don’t know which of them was more surprised!”  He grabbed Vio’s shoulders, spun the two of them in a quick victory dance.  “Oh, I can’t wait to see Green’s face when he finds out!”

He started off in the other direction, each step bouncing.  He didn’t even flinch at the sound of Vio cocking his gun, and the dart hit him right between the shoulder blades.  He spun, his face caught between shock and amusement.

“Traitor!  What was that for?” he sounded like he was trying very hard to be affronted, but not quite succeeding.

“That,” Vio said, “Was for baiting them.  I know you’re the one who put Kool-Aid in Blue’s shampoo.  I know you’re the one who left water balloons where someone would find them.  I know you set up the cups in the hallway.  You’ve been the instigator from the beginning.”

Shadow grinned in what he seemed to think was a charming fashion.  He didn’t deny the accusation.  “Aw, c’mon Vi.  It’s all in good fun.”

Vio grinned back.  “Then maybe you’ll have fun helping Blue and Green clean up the dorms, while I _finally_ finish my paper.”

Shadow sighed dramatically.  “If I _must_.  Serves me right for messing with a giant nerd’s study time, I suppose.”  He draped an arm over Vio’s shoulders, and they walked together back towards the dorms.

“Indeed.  By now, you should have known better than to get between a nerd and his homework.”

“Well, I’ll remember that next time.  You must admit, though, that trick with the Kool-Aid was pretty good.”

“You certainly did choose the color most likely to piss him off."

 


End file.
